Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Happiness and Sadness...

Today is filled with happiness and sadness for me...
Happiness due to the fact that 17yrs ago today my "baby" brother was born - 26wks gestation - the doctors all said "he won't live" my Daddy and step-mom kept him a secret til they knew what was happening for sure due to the yr before a much looked forward to baby brother was stillborn - it hurt us big brothers and sisters greatly...the parents didn't want to give us false hope jus to crush our little hearts again. But this time, the tiny 1lb 5oz 21inches long baby brother pulled through...3 1/2months in the NICU and we got to meet the "baby" brother - that "baby" brother is now 17yrs old today, planning for his driver's license tests, and trying to decide what he'll become one day - I tell him to "reach for the stars, follow your dreams and let nobody tell you you can't achieve your goals"

Sadness due to the fact that 6 short years ago my Grandma died...she died from many, many complications due to Diabetes Type 1 - she was in a LOT of pain, so I'm glad that pain has ended, but I still miss my Grandma, my playmate as a kid, the woman who taught me many things, and always stood behind me no matter what. May 1, 2006 my Grandma was rushed to the ER from the nursing home, me and Grandpa were called...we rushed over there...they said she had to go to Abbott...that she might not come back alive. Me and Grandpa cried as we said goodbye to Grandma, maybe for the last time, we watched her be loaded into the ambulance...watched it leave lights going...not knowing if we'd see her alive again. That night me and Grandpa prayed for Grandma, that her pain be ended at any costs...the next day there was a called from Abbott, Grandma wasn't breathing good on her own needed a breathing tube...me and Grandpa and Grandma had talked about what we'd do when this happened - I told them give her pain meds and send her home don't go hooking her to no machines it's not what she wants...they said we need to hear that from her husband...Grandpa came in the door jus then and told them the same thing, crying as he said it. A couple hours later, we greeted Grandma again at the nursing home...she was breathing and on 2 pain meds to ease the pain...during this time I was babysitting a little 2yr old boy, I talked to his mom about Grandma...she said when she goes jus call and you have a wk off...she set up "back up daycare" with her mom. We waited and waited...I'd watch the little boy from 2PM til 10:45PM then I'd go to the nursing home to sit by Grandma til 6AM when Grandpa would come, then I'd come home, make Grandpa the meals for the day and grab some breakfast as I tossed a load of laundry in the machine, and headed to bed for some sleep...I'd wake up at 1PM to get ready to watch the little boy...and that started the day...May 3rd my Grandma and Grandpa's 57th wedding anniversary - Grandpa took some cake to Grandma and ate it telling her how yummy it tasted...6days later my Grandma died...she had asked for water, I left to get her some...came back and she was gone...her Grandmother's clock stopped at 9:16AM - the same time Grandma died...it never ran properly again stopping everytime 9:16 came around - call it what you may but I believe it was Grandma letting us know she was still with us. May 15 was her funeral...it was a nice, sunny day...
my Grandma taught me to bake, cook, crochet...amongst other things she cheered me on in all my choices even if she didn't agree with them...

today I focus on my Grandma's happy, long life and the fact that my "baby" brother lived and beat all odds against him...

No comments:

Post a Comment